121/365 tapping out early...

11 days 11 hours

and that was it

I was done

detox 2010 was officially over

day 10,11 and 12 were tough

and perhaps harder then they were meant to be

I'm not sure,

all I know is that I became someone

I do not wish to be...

basically an emotional mess

mean. moody. non stop crying. out of control.

not usual behaviours for me.

as well, I felt bad.

really bad.

like a mack truck had run over me

backed up, and ran over me again.

after I was allowed to go with

my family to do errands today

(and trust me, I did nothing to

deserve to go out with them)

and cried all the way

down the bowling alley stairs

to take Kaeden to a birthday party

and hid behind my sunglasses

I decided that was it.

enough.

I'm competitive and not one to give up easily

but enough was enough.

I was getting scared

with how out of control I felt

& was shaky, dizzy and

had a brutal headache.

I went to the bakery (Glamorgan)

next to the bowling alley and

bought a package of these...

I then asked if we could go here...

within 15 minutes

I felt better

still dizzy and

still short tempered

but better.

I worked very hard to control my mood

drank about 12 glasses of water

ate a healthy dinner (delicious sushi at Sumo in Eau Claire)

and kept focused on the positive

(found my outfit for our photo shoot

and it was two sizes smaller than in January)

tonight I am still struggling

but am much more stable than this morning

I still feel like that Mack truck has it out for me,

but I am sure as long as I continue to eat healthy

and drink copious amounts of water

I will get back on track.

I don't think I will ever be doing

another cleanse like this one

as apparently my genetic make up

does not react favourably to

either the herbs, the removal of sugar, dairy or grains

or some combination of all of the above.

Next time I am sliding off track I

will just limit my intake of the above foods

and concentrate on increasing my

vegetables and water.

Even though I did not have

an favourable outcome I do

think (now) that there is a place for these

and that any time you focus on eliminating

unhealthy foods from your diet and

re-establishing a healthy eating pattern it

is a good thing.

Even though I definitely could have

live without the last 3 days

(and I am sure my family and friends could have as well)

I am glad I did it.

I'm proud of how focused I stayed,

the willpower I demonstrated

and maybe most importantly,

I developed a water drinking habit

and that is something I struggled with for

the last 30+years.