El Salvador - 2 weeks 1 day later

I am starting to get it.

It? you ask.

The fact that I need to realize that my reality is here.

In my home,
with my children and husband,
driving 55 minutes to work one way
spending 8 hours a day, 4 days at week at my job,
living in an environment of excess,
where people are always looking for the next thing,
never finding that elusive sense of final achievement,
where the focus is on collecting more stuff
and relationships become secondary.

I can not immediately change my personal environment
and much to my chagrin,there are many things in our society
that I can not control.

On Saturday, we went to Stepper for the children's Christmas party
which also allowed me the opportunity to see a few of the people
we had gone to El Salvador with. It was very comforting to speak with
the ladies that have had the same experience and learn that they too are
struggling and we are all wondering the all important question...

what now?

there is a fear that we will settle back in our routines
and all that need we felt to change the world will
fade in the face of our fast paced Canadian lives
where our daily responsibilities and routines will become center stage.

Sharon (whose husband Dave is the General Manager and was with us our week)
was unfortunately unable to come with us but we had a chance to catch up at the party.
We had a great conversation, she was a very calming voice and explained to me that our confused feelings make sense and it will take time for us to process everything. It is also important to not feel that
we have to change the world at once, we can make little differences that will add up.

A few of us ladies decided we would like to get together in the new year
put our minds (and hearts) together and start making an action plan.

I always feel better when there is an action plan!

In the meantime, I am still working through my feelings and thoughts
day by day, sometimes minute by minute.

However, what I know for sure already...

I am thankful for my family, my old friends, my new friends
my opportunities, my health and my everyday.

In all of this self reflection I have given my home country a hard time,
but at the end of the day, I am proud of being Canadian
and yes we have issues, but we also have and will continue to
make amazing changes in our world.

I will become the change I want to see in the world.

I will make a difference.

When a group of us who are being the change we want to see and are destined to make a difference get together, things, good things, no EXCELLENT things will happen.

Things worthy of a shock and awe adjective.

I can feel it, there is a shift happening,
and it will go viral, it is the type of pandemic we need.

Forget H1N1, we need the kick a little "creating positive change and working even closer to world safety, health and peace" pandemic arse.

I know many of you are with me
and that makes my soul smile.

Happy Holidays to all,
I wish you peace, love and joy now and always,
Dee